Updated: Jun 11, 2020
I was talking to one girl who comes to me for Life Coaching. She told me about her boyfriend who had recently purchased Maruti Brezza, costing about Rs. 8.5 lacs. This friend of hers has a pay package of about 5.5 lacs, two sisters who are studying and parents who don’t earn much. In short, he has familial responsibilities.
I was reminded of another young married man who had purchased Maruti Baleno while having a package of hardly 4.5 lacs. And then his wife got pregnant within two months of marriage. In both the cases, buying those cars under the respective circumstances couldn’t be termed as prudent financial decisions. Then these fellows start having difficulties with their loved ones. Stress gets built up. Relationship gets strained. At times credit card debt skyrockets. In short, instead of enjoying the initial years of courtship or married life they keep struggling with the relationships or money or both. Happiness and fulfilling relationship go for a toss.
The youngsters of India are entering the marriage without any preparation, the way their parents did many years ago. Studies show that in more than 70% cases, first child of an Indian couple comes unplanned. (Planned birth has a deep spiritual significance but about that; in some other post) So apparently these first timers didn’t have basic sex education at the time of marriage and sex generally being a taboo, no one educated them too.
Marriage is a very important milestone in one’s life. It changes the way a single person exists. With late marriages and economically independent partners these days, situation has become all the more complex as the partners have to increasingly deal with mature, read hardened, views of each other.
A successful marriage needs balance in both, personal and professional spheres of life. At the end of the day, it is human resource management with added complexities of emotions, love, expectations, responsibilities or duties, and personal finance management. Arrival of a new set of parents (in-laws) in one’s life leaves the person confused. Here the rules are different and difficult too. Managing them well is one of the biggest challenges of married life. If one enters unprepared, the baggage of pain and unhappiness accumulates very quickly in this relationship as most of the time, partners suffer from silent expectations and pain of unfulfilment of the same. Since we are not trained to let the past be where it belongs to and often the inadvertent mistakes committed in the past become the weapons of the disgruntled partners. New baggage gets added with every passing year.
Premarital counselling must appear at the top of the shopping list as soon as one decides to get serious about the partner.